Joaquim ready to maul Madrid - by fair means or fowl

In one of the more bizarre spectacles of the past few months, Real Betis winger Joaquim Sanchez hypnotised a chicken live on Spanish television and the former farmer's boy will be looking to leave the Real Madrid defence simil.

Betis play host to the European champions looking to repeat the 3-1 victory in the corresponding fixture of 12 months ago, a game in which Joaquim scored and which was also notable for Zinedine Zidane getting his first goal for Madrid.

However, the odds on long-term success are stacked against the Seville club as they have only won one league title - back in 1935.

"Deportivo and Valencia have demonstrated over recent seasons that Real Madrid and Barcelona are not going to have things all their own way any more, and Betis are now ready to follow the same path," said Joaquim.

"There is no good reason why Betis cannot win the league. We have already shown what we are capable of by beating Deportivo 4-2 at their ground," added the 21-year-old, who has been dubbed 'The Spanish Luis Figo'.

Betis briefly topped the Spanish first division early last season and later they put together a 14-game unbeaten run, but their inability to turn a draw into a victory cost them dearly down the home straight and they finished in sixth place.

This year Betis president Manuel Ruiz de Lopera has brought back Betis hero and former Spanish international striker Alfonso Perez, after a two year stint at Barcelona to add firepower.

Lopera also splashed out 10 million euros on the midfielder Marcos Assuncao and the Brazilian already looks like good value-for-money after terrorising Deportivo two weeks ago.

Asscuncao is certain to start on Saturday but his better-known compatriot Ronaldo will still be on Real Madrid's sidelines for a little longer as he recovers from a slight muscle strain.

Real Madrid president Florentino Perez was moved to say on Wednesday: "The dressing room has never been so united."

However, few believe him in the wake of the Brazilian's unsettling arrival two week ago, which means that someone will soon be probably losing their place in Real's starting line up.

Real's reserve strikers Tote Lopez and Javier Portillo both responded to Ronaldo's challenging presence by scoring hat-tricks in Real's 8-1 thrashing of third division Sanse in the Spanish Cup on Wednesday.

"I think I demonstrated that there are others of us who have some quality as well," said Tote, clearly laying down the gauntlet to Ronaldo.

Nevertheless, the disharmony seeping from the camp is mild compared to the internecine war that has engulfed Barcelona after their shock 3-2 Cup defeat by third division Novelda on Wednesday.

The Catalans' Dutch defender Frank de Boer publicly rounded on his team mates Robert Enke and Michael Reiziger, blaming them for their opponents' goals, and coach Louis van Gaal has the unenviable job of repairing relations before their tricky trip to Athletic Bilbao.

Barcelona were ragged at the back in their 2-2 draw with newly-promoted Atletico Madrid two weeks ago and although Athletic lost their opening fixture 4-2 at Real Sociedad two weekends ago, they are often a different proposition in their own San Mames stadium.

Deportivo - the 2000 champions and second for the last two years - go to Osasuna on Saturday and have fond memories of their 3-1 win in Pamplona last season.

Diego Tristan scored a hat-trick in that game and last season's top scorer in the Spanish first division appears to be back to his best again despite a summer spent recuperating from injuries suffered during the World Cup.

However, Deportivo will be without their former Spanish international goal keeper Francisco Molina, who has tendon problems in his right knee. Juanmi Garcia will deputise and play his first league game for his new club after moving from relegated Real Zaragoza in the summer.